Me-lan-cho-ly
Jan 31, 2007 Buzz, Daily Blurbs
I’ve been feeling melancholic since I woke up this morning. It was probably because of the big fight I had with my mom the previous night. We exchanged hurtful words at each other. I didn’t mean to say anything back at her, but I have kept mum for a long time and I just blew up yesterday night. The bottom line is, all I want for her to do is appreciate the things I do, even if it’s just the littlest thing. I don’t ask for much. A little thank you would do.
To add to the depressing mood, I had a bad dream this morning, so I just drank some capresso. In my dream, Ryan broke up with me and I couldn’t believe that it happened. I kept on looking out my bedroom window, waiting for him to come back, but he didn’t. Inside my dream, I realized I was dreaming, and I wanted so much to wake up. I kept on crying in my dream because I can’t wake up. When I finally did, I found myself really crying and I coldn’t breathe properly. I sat straight up to catch my breath. I sent a text message to Ryan and told him about my dream. He said that, “It’s just a dream. It’s not real.” …well, I hope so.
Upto now, I still feel so low. My eyes are still sore from all the crying. I suffered a bad headache since last night, pretended it didn’t hurt when I got to school, and still pretended I am alright when I spoke to Ryan on the phone this afternoon. I don’t want him to know that I still feel bad. I know it’s hard to be in his situation. He’s there and I’m here, and he can’t do anything to physically comfort me and make me feel better. The truth is, I wished he’s here with me right now to just embrace me and make me feel that everything is going to be alright.
I feel so cold and alone. Literally.
Tags: Argh, Daily Blurbs, Dreams
Post Christmas
Dec 26, 2006 Daily Blurbs
The 24th came, Christmas eve. The truth is, I was being The Grinch. Well, not to everyone, but to this one person who made me expect things that didn’t happen. 
Ryan was supposed to come here on Christmas eve, because weeks ago, my dad already asked him to come and spend it with us. Actually, my annoyance was built up from Saturday. He was supposed to come to our house and spend the day with me watching DVDs. But since he played DotA the previous night, he woke up late and he decided that he won’t come over and reasoned that we’d just meet up the next day. Actually, I’ve already expected that that would happen. So, I wasn’t at all disappointed about that. Then I told him that I am going out to buy some stuff, and he insisted that I should stay home because he’d just stay home, too. We talked on the phone at noon for a few minutes, then he said he’d just talk to his aunt and then call me back. I didn’t actually wait for him to call, but I missed him so I called their house and looked for him. His uncle said that he went out. I sent him a message and he said that he’s at the mall with his aunt and cousins. I was a bit annoyed because he didn’t tell me. I mean, he said he’d call back and he didn’t. If the situation was turned around, he’d get annoyed too if I didn’t call him back, or send him a message that I’m going out.
Since my mom called and gave me lots of chores, I didn’t have the chance to go out anymore. When Ryan got home, which was around 7pm, he told me that he would call me in a few minutes. Thirty minutes passed and still no call. I sent him a message and I got pissed with his reply. He said that he’s on his way to Iya’s house for a Christmas party near their place. I said, “Who’s Iya? Again, you did not tell me where you’re going before you left.” Iya, the wife of his friend is the owner of an internet shop and they held a Christmas party that night.
What made me mad was the fact that he didn’t want me to leave home, but he did, when he’s reason for him not letting me leave is that he’d stay home, too. But he didn’t. I asked him why he didn’t call or send me a message first, he said that when he got home and put away the shopping bags of his aunt, his friends were already outside picking him up. I mean, he could’ve told them to wait for a few minutes so that he can call to tell me, AND it seemed like he did know beforehand that they would pick him up. Why didn’t he tell me he has plans when we both agreed before that we’d tell each other where we’re going at all times? He said that he’d be home by 12mn, but NO, he had to play DotA again and he came home late! Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Argh, Daily Blurbs
I Had A Bad Day
Jul 20, 2006 Buzz, Daily Blurbs, School
Last night, I was struggling. I didn’t feel so well; my head was so heavy and my throat felt dry plus it hurts whenever I try to swallow my saliva. (Eww…) I was able to sleep for an hour, I was waiting for Veronica Mars to start, but I fell asleep. Pff. I woke up 5 minutes after it was over. Grr. By 10pm, I started to study for my prelims exam. I studied for 2 subjects, Basic Computer Concepts (BASICON) and NSTP.
I still feel the dryness in my throat. My head still hurt… 
I had to read an entire topic over and over for BASICON because my professor mentioned to have included a “fill-in-the-blank” instruction for that particular topic. Well, I guess it paid that I did read my book. But we cannot commit any erasures because we will lose a point, so I interchanged two answers. Err… Well, I just hope I did perfect the computation part of the exam.
For NSTP, we had to memorize the school’s Vision-Mission. I did memorize them both, but I was having trouble memorizing the Mission. In our exam, I forgot the first 4 words of the Vision, but completed the Mission. Pff. I believe I did well in both exams, and I’d probably get a good grade, if not better.
If today couldn’t get any better, I forgot my exam permit at home and I only had 15 minutes more to kill before it was time for me to get to school. I text messaged my dad and had him bring it to me. I got to school at 1:05pm. It’s a good thing that I wasn’t late.
Tomorrow, we will have another exam for Color Theory. Our lecture is a bit short, but I want to make sure I remember everything. I am pretty conscious with my grades right now, because after this course, I am going out in the real world to actually work. Well, it will be half-working and half-enjoying. I love this course!
I was able to get a “GoodLuck” from Marky. Hahaha!
On Saturday, my friends from my old job and I will be having a little get together. I don’t know where yet, but Kat mentioned Watering Hole and Gilligan’s. I will be bringing my camera, so I can share them with you. It will be fun because it has been a pretty long time since I last saw all of them, especially JeAr, who I haven’t seen for months!
On Sunday, will be a meeting with my partners in crime, Ringo and Kix. We don’t have a venue yet, but it should be between 11am to 2pm. Kix has something important to do on Sunday after 2pm. Oh and Ringo’s band was accepted to compete at Muziklaban. Wow! I hope they win. He’s a good bassist.
My sister’s boyfriend, Tan, downloaded a LOT of mp3s for me. The CD includes RedHotChilliPeppers Stadium Arcadium album, Pink’s I’m Not Dead album, The Cranberries, Evanescence, Sandi Thom’s I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker, Ray Lamontagne’s Trouble. You guys should download I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker and Trouble. Both songs are from the UK and they are so good.
If life couldn’t be any worse?!
Someone changed my yahoo ID password. Grr! 
I am SUPER PISSED OFF! If I find out who this person is, I would totally do something really nasty. I know it might seem like it’s a small thing, but my whole life is there! All my important contacts are there, and that person might do something bad to them if he/she logs on using my ID.
So guys, beware, if anyone messages you using “onewickedsoul” please keep in mind, IT’S NOT ME!
Check out cheap hotels.
Tags: Argh, Daily Blurbs, Music
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