Filipina Web Designer in her 20s. | What I Say

So Numb

Aug 30, 2004 Daily Blurbs

I am getting tired of my layout, and I can’t think of any design, plus I don’t have any good stock photos. I made one graphic, but I couldn’t think of a way on how I’d lay it out.

Lately, I have been feeling a little stressed out. Everything is just so different. I am not very blissful right now. I have been getting headaches, and this afternoon I was hyper ventilating. I think that I am going to be sick.

Sweet thang and I haven’t been talking lately. I don’t know why. Well, we text once in a while, unlike before when we text the whole day. Maybe we’re both busy. He also mentioned that they accepted a big project for their furniture business, so I guess that’s why we don’t talk much. I don’t know if I miss him, though.

I have been thinking lately. I am quite confused with everything. It’s like, I don’t feel anything at all. Emotionally. This sounds pathetic, but I can’t find him in my heart. I can’t find anything or anyone in my heart. My best bud said that I probably became numb because I have been burnt a lot of times, that’s why it is hard for me to open up my heart for anyone. I admit that he’s partly right, but still, I want to love again. Feel something.

I do like his company and his personality, but that’s the end of it. No other feelings are felt. I am so weird! Well, it’s not like I know if sweet thang feels something for me. I just feel weird. I don’t want to end up alone. I mean, what if this guy is the one, and I don’t feel anything? Then everything will just pass without me knowing it, then I am doomed for life!

Lord, help me!

Tags: Argh, Daily Blurbs