Beach Bum

May 13th, 2008 at 04:49pm

beach bum

I secretly wish to be a beach bum, but right now I have to drop the word “beach”. I have to admit that I have become a bum… bum, bum, bum! I do not want to be in this position, but if I have another choice, I would be working for a company right now. My friend from Denver, Colorado is helping me find a job there, but I am not really counting on it.

Isn’t it funny when life kicks you in the head for the nth time for the same reason? Actually, I don’t find it funny now because I am in that same place I was, more than 2 years ago. I am still confused about my life. I don’t know which direction to go to. I am pushing to work overseas, but at the same time, I am scared of what I am going to find. I know that I should learn to take risks, but I can’t stop thinking about the people I am going to leave behind if I decided to fly. My parents are open to this kind of setting and I am, too.

A slow burning candle. That’s exactly how I feel right now. All the good stuff are slowly melting away. I wish I am at the beach right now, alone. I want to clear my head and make a decision based on what I think and feel. I don’t want to be held back. I am just so confused right now. I’ve had my head up among the clouds, and now, I have to deal with everything down on earth. I know that there is hope for me, but right now, I just can’t see it, or maybe I refuse to see it. So many things are flooding my thoughts, not just my finding a job, but more about my life and how it’s come to be. Nothing is like it seems. I feel so empty inside.

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8 Comments

Ordered from oldest to newest comment.

honney writes on May 14, 2008 at 12:51am

i can’t blame you…masarap naman talaga sa beach. nakaka-relax! hay…ako din miss ko na agad ang bora. lalo na ang puka beach.

honneys last blog post..Something from Greggy

Quote "honney"

Aleida writes on May 14, 2008 at 6:08pm

Hmmm I know how you feel. At times life has also hit me on the head and forced me to take a look at what I was doing at what I actually wanted to do *sigh* I always say “there are more ways to Rome” or something. It’s good to think of your goals, but stay flexible… there are more ways to do something - I believe. Some ways are short and though … some ways take a little more time, but I’m sure … in the end you will get there !!! And hey during life you will learn stuff too … it’s all about the process Goodluck !!!!

Quote "Aleida"

(Olivia) writes on May 15, 2008 at 12:30am

I hope you get everything figured out! It may seem like a bad place to be. But, at least you’re not kidding yourself, and running in any direction.

Quote "(Olivia)"

Rachel writes on May 15, 2008 at 9:28am

hay nakuh ganyan din ako minsan hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko at san ba ako pupunta. Gusto ko din mag-abroad pero mat takot at kaba din pagdating doon.

Quote "Rachel"

jiMboy writes on May 15, 2008 at 11:45am

What more I am?? haha! I’ve been a bum for the last sem. I skipped one. And I’m not yet sure about my course, actually it is my third course to take which is HRM. And will start from scratch! haha! I’m 19 and still don’t have a clear path! XD

jiMboys last blog post..Trapped!

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Fe writes on May 15, 2008 at 4:04pm

hey dre. that wouldnt happen to be ipanema’s slippers would it be. heh.

as much as a bum you are, i believe that im a bum too. within the past month, ive quit school. “was” looking for a job. but stopped looking cause there’s nothing here that interest me or maybe im just so much of a bum. haha. i’d really like to get out of this place. travel, see the world, study/work someplace else but then… thats only a dream.

i dont think anyone knows what they really want in life. & those who do, well.. their the lucky bunch. hahaha. life is an ongoing process. longg & sometimes slow.. good luck with things yea. take care.

Quote "Fe"

scart writes on May 16, 2008 at 5:31am

lamo dre sometimes ganyan ang nararamdaman ko though i’m happy with my family i have rightnow i still unsatisfied sometimes parang kulang. i’m always thinking of my career i want to work on a company that i’ve been wanting for a long time. pero de ko alam baka hanggang pag-aalaga nalang ako ng mga bata hehehe

tama yan naisip mo magandang mapag-isa ka muna ng maisip mo kung ano talaga ang gusto mong gawin sa buhay. try mo muna mag-work kaya sa atin.

Quote "scart"