The Tragedy With Love
Apr 25, 2007 Uncategorized
Love is such a wonderful feeling. Specially when a relationship is just starting. There is this thing called Bliss. It’s a feeling of elation that is felt on budding relationships. Why am I talking about this?
Well, recently my sister and her boyfriend ended their 6-year-long relationship. The truth is, until now, I am still affected by it. Just thinking about it right now makes me cry.
I remember an email that was sent to me a few weeks back. Let me share it with everyone:
THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said,
“How do I know if I married the right person?”I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
“It depends. Is that your husband?”
In all seriousness, she answered,
“How do you know?”
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their idiosyncrasies.Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… because it’s happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.”
Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.
It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead
of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller
or even angry subsequent stage.At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON. IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It will NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the _expression “the labor of love.”
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage
work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things that you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. And if you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable… you can “make” love.Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… not just a feeling.
What’s sad is the fact that the I have grown to love the guy like a brother. Even though he has his own faults, I can’t help but really feel for him. I mean, I had a feeling that the girl has someone else already, so I picked up her cellphone to investigate. Just as I thought, there is someone else.
It angered me when I checked the dates of the text messages. They were sent during the times when they haven’t broken up yet. When I talked to the guy, he said there is no third party. I think he doesn’t know, or maybe he doesn’t want to tell me. He also mentioned that he has issues to fix, and when he’s done, he would ask for her back. I even told him to still come over some time. I know I am not in the place to tell him what’s the real score, because my sister is not telling me anything. We haven’t spoken about what happened. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: One Day Blog Silence, Thoughts
Beachy!
Apr 23, 2007 Daily Blurbs, Stuff
“Oohh.. Wow! New layout!”
I finally finished my summer layout. Notice my navigation bar? I got the hang of doing my very first DHTML navigation bar. *Wee!*
Technically, summer in the Philippines ends in May, but on the other parts of the world, summer hasn’t even started yet, so this layout would be up for a while. I also finished the new layout of my clique, The Filipino Exchange. I tried to capture the Pinoy culture in the layout, but I still ended up using a jeepney on the header.
Anyway, I just got home from the 7th year anniversary of Platinum Sales party. It’s a Tupperware dealership from our area. My mom asked me if I could come and be their official photographer. They didn’t pay me, but I was given a bottle of Beauti Control’s body|exotics Passion Fruit lotion. It smells really nice. I love it 
My feet are actually sore because I was standing most of the time. I have to capture a lot of segments, too. My mom danced to the tune of Hawaii 5-O. Yikes! It’s a good thing that my mom knows how to dance, so it wasn’t really embarrassing.
My other friends are planning another summer outing. I searched for beaches in Batangas, and I found this website: Batangas Resorts. It’s actually pretty helpful, because the basic information on most beaches are there, and majority of the beaches have their own websites. I chose 2 options for us: Anilao Outrigger Resor and Balai Resort. They both have reasonably priced rates. I just hope we get to go before the 2nd week of May.
I am exhausted! I am going to bed now…
ZzzZZZzzzzz….
Tags: Daily Blurbs
Bye Bye Acne
Apr 23, 2007 Daily Blurbs
A lot of people suffer from pimples during the summer because of the heat. I have a few friends who have done different kinds of acne treatments, but the acne still comes back. Of course there are natural ways to prevent suffering from this, like washing your face with a gentle soap or a derma-prescribed facial wash.
During this season, I usually wash my face every time my face feels really sticky. Sometimes I suffer from windburn, too. It is quite uncomfortable, as it feels like my face is being cooked. I also use an aloe vera facial mist spray to soothe my face. It makes my face feel refreshed. When my mist spray is not available, I use ice water and use a face towel to dampen my face with it.
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