Perfect Daughter
Apr 19, 2006 Daily Blurbs
Dear Dad,
I’m sorry that I have disappointed you one too many times. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about my life, or for the things that you have provided for me so that my life would be convenient. Yes, I admit that I made mistakes, but I have you know that those are my mistakes, and I stand responsible for them. Don’t you see how it has made me stronger? Don’t you see that I am better with a lot of things? I cook more now, and you know how I hate cooking. I even clean my room.
I know I could do better with my life. But please don’t force me to do what you want. I know what field I am good at. Yes, you want me to be an engineer, and I once dreamed of having that title before my name, but things have changed. You know that I can draw as well as you do. You know that I have a good eye for beautiful things, so why do you want me to look at dull numbers?
You don’t know half of what I am feeling right now. I feel like I will never measure up to your standards. Do you know why I never worked my butt off to become the class valedictorian? Because I know that if I fall even a place lower, I will hear it from you. I see what you have done to my brother. He may have fallen 6 places below, but hell! He got a 93.7 final average! But it’s not about him, it’s about me. How can you mock the one thing that I am good at? Yes, I may be good with other things, but this is what I love to do. I don’t want to grow old and hate how I chose my path. If I have to provide for myself, it would be from a job that I love and won’t get tired of doing. If you only give me a chance to make you see how great I can become.
I am not asking for a lot. I just want you to believe in me and accept me for who I am and what I am capable of. I am not an ordinary girl who wants an ordinary job. You know how I love my individuality, that sometimes I had to color my hair red to get your attention. Hey, this is me!
Do you know how scared I am to fall flat on the ground? Just a little. But what I am more afraid of is if at the time I fall down, that you would look down on me and look disappointed, or would you pick me up and tell me it is alright and that I can try again?
I may not say it often, but I do love you and I want you to be proud of me. I wish you can see the potential that I have for other things. I wish you can accept me for me, and I can not be the perfect daughter. I can only be a better one; a better one with a few good mistakes. If only I can talk to you with you actually listening to what I have to say, then maybe we can find a common ground. It’s hard to communicate with someone who already has a mind made up. I beg you to open up your mind for me, your daughter.
Someday, you will be proud of me.
Your not-so perfect daughter,
Andreana.
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
Randomness
Apr 17, 2006 Daily Blurbs
Easter Sunday is a start of a new tradition. Hopefully it will continue on. My friend, Heinz and I decided to make an Easter coffee thing, that we have to take pics of us drinking coffee on Easter. That is a picture of me drinking my frappe 
from Starbucks *points to the right*. I forgot to have a picture taken looking to the camera! *whacks head*
Anyway, today was just really a random day. He will be the one to buy a new domain/host and three of us will be sharing it. We plan to put lots of photos, videos and music, plus he likes to write poetry. It will be very interesting ‘coz it’s gonna be three different cultures that will be on it. I represent the Philippines, Heinz representing the US/Germany and the other one, Tag will be representing England. Cool, huh?
Then I was rummaging through my old files and I found this. I showed that to GP when we were chatting and he says he remembered that. He was a bit sad, he said. When I asked him why, he just mentioned love. GP always makes me feel envious that he’s got a lovelife. One night he text messaged me saying that he was on his way home from his girl’s place and it was their monthsary the next day. He would always tell me to already get a lovelife. It’s not a choice that I am single, it’s coincidence fate. GP, if you are reading this don’t kill me coz I put your picture!
I miss my friends from my old job. I sent them a group email last night and everyone replied and that made me smile 
It was like the old days when our emails were about random things we throw at each other. Minsan puro shameless pang-aasar sa isa’t isa. I envy where Kat is right now, she is in La Union for surfing lessons. Wow!
Look how cute my brother is! My sisters with him, tongues out!
By the way, I found out how the guy likes me, and it’s not because he wants me to be his friend. *chuckles* 
Tags: Daily Blurbs
Sounds Like A Girl
Apr 14, 2006 Daily Blurbs
Last night, GP and I were exchanging text messages. He was asking me, as always, how my love life is.
He was on his way home and he was a bit tipsy from a few drinks. Well, I told him that since I become paranoid, I wasn’t thinking too much of that someone. He said that I needed to get drunk. Hahaha! Well, I wanted to, but there’s no one to drink with me. Too bad!
Tonight, he called me on my cellphone. GP and I usually talks thru email, text messaging and chat, I might’ve recalled us talking once on a cellphone. He surprised me tonight, not because he called, but because of his voice. He sounds like a girl! I had to laugh about it and I was a bit suspicious ‘coz I don’t remember him sounding like that. Then the line got cute cut, he’s got no more airtime credits, so we just text messaged. He says that it was him and he does sound like a girl. So, that was a chance for me to mock his voice 
He tried to defend himself by saying that he sounds manly in person. Yeah, right Geeps!
new pics
Click to enlarge!
Subliminaly Superficial
I was chatting with this guy, let’s call him Brian, and I met him last January. Backtrack? I’ve always known he is what I think he is. Now, he has confessed to it. Ha!
Brian: ive become… subliminally superficial
Brian: meaning…
Brian: im not concious that somehow Id rather pick girls that would be prettier than the girl ive been..
Brian: I mean
Brian: im picking girls also tru there looks
Brian: but I know I don’t want that
Brian: perhaps that’s the awkward feeling I always feel
Brian: clashing and bashing upon each other
dre: i thought so, no offense meant, but somehow that’s the problem i see in u
Brian: id like to escape with someone
Brian: that would really show me my worth…
dre: no one should show u your worth
dre: YOU should be the one to realize what you’re worth
dre: if u can’t love yourself then no one else will ever fill that empty feeling of bein worthless
Brian: how so… if most of your life you’ve only almost always been into situations that sucked out all the morale in you
Brian: but I love myself
dre: coz u are the only one who can erase those memories
dre: and u are the only one who can choose which u take in and take out
dre: of all the things u’ve seen and heard
dre: u choose which one to block out and keep in
I’ve seen through him eversince he played the I’m-busy-with-something card. This is what GP has to say about my question, Do guys always prefer looks over personality?
GP: some guys would care about the looks… some don’t
GP: others like to date hundreds of girls before picking a gf
GP: others prefer to be friends with u then ask u out a few months later
The last one, I’ve experienced. Hahaha! He also mentioned that maybe I was just waiting for the perfect guy. But no one is perfect. So maybe, I’ve yet to meet, not the perfect one, but the right one.
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
GoDaddy.com
