Different Face, Same Guy..
Feb 12, 2006 Daily Blurbs
Last night, Je’Ar told me that he doesn’t feel well, so the three of us couldn’t go out today. 
Anyway, I have kept mum about this guy I’ve met recently ‘coz I didn’t want to jinx it. Unfortunately, no matter how quiet I was, it still didn’t work out.
[update]Just so we’re clear, Je’Ar and this guy I talked about are different people 
Let’s call this new guy, Vanilla.[/update]
Here’s the back story;
We met on the last week of January, on a Wednesday. We had coffee :c: at Starbucks and had a chat for an hour. It was a good first meeting, I suppose. Prior to that, we were already having long talks on the phone and in YM as well. I thought that he was cool and smart. He talks with conviction in his voice. I admired that. After that day, we talked less. He said he was busy, so I didn’t make a fuss of that and just went on with my routine. On that same week, he asked me out to watch Urbandub at Saguijo Bar. It was a good one, we were with his good friend, Sid. I got home at 4 in the morning. We hung out at Starbucks Greenbelt after the gig to talk. Both of the guys were smart and had different views on different things, which was a relief for me, ‘coz most guys are dull and talked about themselves a lot. After that day, we still managed to exchange SMS. But the calls lessened, and he had this excuse that his phone bill is way up than usual. Since, I always want to look at the best in people, I didn’t think of it as an “excuse” at all. Wednesday that week, he sent an SMS saying that he felt that he had built something with me, like some sort of friendship. He said that if I was free during the weekend, he would like to talk to me over the phone because he wanted to get to know me better and that he thinks that I am mysterious. I didn’t really think of what he said as a big deal, but I saw that as a good sign that he is a good person. Weekend came and he asked if I can call him. (I didn’t give him my home number yet) I was out of the house at that time, so I told him I’d call him when I get home. Unfortunately, I got home a little late. I turned on my PC and went online. He was there, so I talked to him and told him that I just got in. He said that he fell asleep anyway and he just woke up. After that weekened, he doesn’t SMS his usual noon time messages of “Hi Dre! Wazzup?” I thought that maybe we’re playing mind games.
Later that week, he asked if I was free and he’d like to talk on the phone. I said to call in 30 minutes ‘coz I was in the middle of dinner. He sent an SMS saying that he’d call a little later ‘coz he had to email something. He never called, he never explained why. I didn’t wait. I slept early. The next days were quiet. I didn’t mind. Anyway, 3 days ago, we were both online. He said “Hi”, so we talked for a while. I mentioned that I noticed that our past few chats were boring. He said that he was just busy with work and while we’re chatting, he was finishing some work. He’s an architect. In the middle of me, saying something, he said that he hated to cut the convo but he really had to finish that project. Of course, I let him be. Two days later, during our chat, he then said that he is bothered by something. So I asked what it was. He said that he is bothered and confused by girls. Of course, I knew instantly that it wasn’t about me. I didn’t give him any reason to be confused or anything like that. He then spilled his guts, and it is about another girl, that she was all made and he’s overwhelmed about that and he doesn’t know if he has anything to offer.
I felt kind of bad about it ‘coz I realized that he lied to me. I mean, he then mentioned that he was sorry about that night that he had to cut our convo because he had to talk to her. He said that he was finishing a project! :hmp: BUT since I am too nice, I talked to him and tried to help him sort out his feelings over the phone.
To make the long story short, he just made my list. As one of the same guys I have met before. Even if I don’t want to feel bad, I do. I don’t go out much to meet guys, you know. I am afraid to go out there and be vulnerable. Sad to think that every time I try to go out there, I just end up in the same place. I end up wanting not to go out there and be the unsuspecting prey. Last night, I can’t help but realize how lonely it is in my end. I guess, it really takes a lot of risks before you get what you needed. Yes, I need someone.
Take one!
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
WANTED: Best Friend
Feb 10, 2006 Uncategorized
For the life of me, I cannot stress enough that I am SO irritated by those spam bots who send me worthless emails! Grr! I hope they die! *enough ranting…* 
Anyway, Meralco Foundation called today, informing me that my class is rescheduled for next Saturday. I was already excited to attend the class. Oh well…
My best bud, Je’Ar, told Ringo that he wants to go out on Sunday. It has been a long time since we hung out, the three of us. I miss those guys. They have been my really close friends for the past year. I mean, my used to be friends, does not have time for the barkada anymore. Even my parents noticed that they just were gone. My dad would even say, “Where are your real friends, now?” When I see my sister’s friends, I sort of envy how their relationships with my sister are. My sister has this best friend, and I used to think I have one, but I don’t. So, I am glad that my best boys will be with me on Sunday.
Sometimes, I would really look at myself and ask, what’s wrong with me? Most of the time, I feel like some, or most of my friends, just use me. I have always been their shoulder to cry on, the girl that is available when they have no one to shop with, or go to the mall with… but never did I ever feel that I am really important to them. I have always wanted to have a best friend whom I can tell my stories to, call in the middle of the night, or in short, just like what my sister have. Thinking about it makes me feel so vulnerable
Well, Je’Ar and I used to talk in the middle of the night, but since he’s got this job at a call center, so that’s not possible anymore. Lately, he’s also been a bit distant, but I don’t really want to ask him ‘coz he’s not confrontational. I don’t want to start an argument. The only thing that ticks me off about him is that, he just let’s things pass. We don’t talk about it, he doesn’t want to talk about it, he says that it doesn’t need to be discussed. I respect him, so I respect that he is that way. 
But I’ve always thought highly of him and I consider him my closest friend right now. He was the one who gave me a wake up call and I totally appreciate that. He’s mostly looking out for me as I do the same for him
* Smilies work! * :yey:
Tags: Thoughts
Got my camera back!
Feb 7, 2006 Daily Blurbs
[update] Added an Ask Me form. It works fine, but it will show “Sorry no posts…” Ignore that ;Þ All questions will be answered on my next entries. [/update]
Today, I finally got my digicam back! Yey! My sister, Juvy, and I went to Robinson’s Galleria and got it. We also ate at Burger King.
That Blazing Burger with double patties sat in my stomach for a very long time! We also got free fries for that ‘coz we got a coupon, plus we had King Float as a sweet treat! 
We also watched “Cheaper by the Dozen 2”. For me, it wasn’t as good as the first, but I definitely enjoyed it. The movie made my sister and I cry in some parts of the movie.
I haven’t much to talk about the film, but I just had to get myself a doze of Starbucks coffee :c: on our way home. Yep, the name on the cup is “Justin”. I always use a different person’s name when I go there, just for fun! I didn’t get my Rhumba Frappe, though, ‘coz they ran out! So, I just had White Chocolate Mocha 
Last night, I tried to sleep early. By 12mn, I was in bed. Yep, that’s early for me, ‘coz usually I’d sleep at 4 in the morning. I got snoozing by 1am last night. I was hoping to wake up early, like 9am, but I got up by 12nn! 12 hours of sleeping was more than enough, and it made my back hurt a bit.
For the past week, I had been designing/coding Blogger templates. I realized that Blogger templates are easier to make ‘coz it’s only a page and it’s easy to insert the Blogger code. If you want to see and download the templates, well, you can visit my Blogskins account – apatetik – Cool username, huh? Hehehe I will be putting those skins on my main site, though. Just to add more contents to it. I am just waiting for the voting to end at the very first web awards that I’ve ever joined. I wonder if I won… I think the voting ends tomorrow, February 8. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Well, I think I am going to keep this blog, for now… Thanks for stopping me!
* By the way, I dunno why my smilies won’t show.. *
* See the Major Ad up there? I had 3 bids for me to rent their blog, so that guy is up there! If you wanna join, just click here *
* New affie –> Sheryl Ü *
* Somebody took my spot at google for Rhumba Frappe! runs *
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Movies
GoDaddy.com
