Alone Within Six
Feb 20, 2006 Daily Blurbs
Most of the time, I just get frustrated with my family. I seldom ask any favors and I couldn’t even have it done. My sisters asked me the other night why I am not sweet to them. I don’t like them touching my hair, my face or any part of my body without any reason. I told them that I am not sweet to them because I don’t feel that I belong to their relationship. I am the eldest, and believe me, it’s lonely. The two of them talk about anything and everything. When I hear them talking and I try to join them, they would say that it’s a secret. I always feel left out. One time, there was a boy courting my sister, I didn’t even know about it until my mom found out. When I asked her how it happened, she wouldn’t even tell me, but my other sister knows. Now they are baffled why I am not sweet to them?
They can’t blame me if I feel distant most of the time. They don’t know how alone I feel within a family of six. Sometimes I would try to open up to them, but then it always turns into mockery. They would use the words I say into a joke. I don’t even have someone who I can really talk to. Imagine this kind of life. This is one of the reasons I journal, because no one literally listens. There is so much pain inside of me that I don’t feel any emotion most of the time.
More often I don’t talk when I am at home. It’s like, if I do, it wouldn’t matter. No one listens. There had been times that I thought that I am crazy. Literally. Because I talk to myself when I am alone. Weird. Crazy. Insane. But somehow it helps. At least, I get to talk and someone listens. Well, I listen.
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
Back to School!
Feb 18, 2006 Daily Blurbs
I woke up at five in the morning to get ready for my first day of class. I enrolled for Web Animation using Flash at Meralco Foundation Institute (MFI) a month ago. I thought that it was going to be a traffic jam filled morning, so by the quarter to seven, I was out of the house. I got there by 7:10am. Talk about being the early bird! I was even the one who turned on the lights in the girl’s restroom. From eight in the morning up to three in the afternoon, I was in MFI, listening to my instructor, Mr. Natividad. The class is made up of nine students. Kate and I were the only girls. I thought that the class would be boring, but it was very interesting and fascinating. I even made my very first digital drawing! Cool 
I wish I could post it here, but it’s in our school’s server. I haven’t installed Flash yet in my computer because my storage space is very limited. My computer only has 20GB. Although I bought another hard drive yesterday, an 80GB, I still have not formatted it.
Speaking of my computer…
Last night, I installed the hard drive inside the computer. I don’t know what I did, but somehow my modem was not recognized by my computer. My dad wanted to check his email, but since I was getting frustrated because I don’t know what connection I messed up, I just turned off the computer and went to sleep. I didn’t get to sleep though until after 2 hours of lying in bed. Of course, I had to wake up early, and every time that I am aware of that, I always wake up every hour to check the time.
Yesterday, a friend and I were exchanging messages because we are planning a night out, when she mistakenly sent me a message that I am not supposed to receive. Of course, I was baffled, so I asked what that was about. She was talking about someone who she was crying about. I mean, that friend of mine never had a relationship before, so I was so curious. She didn’t reply though. So anyway, this morning, we finalized the time and place for our night out. Then she sent me a wrong message again. Apparently, the guy is going to be with us that night out. Even if she didn’t mention a name, I had a pretty good idea who that is. I was not surprised at all. I always tease them secretly. When I am talking to the guy, I would always say, ”Isn’t ____ pretty? Yihiy!”, but he’d always shrug it off. I do the same to the girl, too. Anyway, I don’t really want to relay the whole story because that will just be too much. All I can say is that, I wish I can lessen the pain she’s in. Yes, it wasn’t the best news… Sigh… :no:
I was watching CNN a while ago and saw this. My cousin even talked to me through chat and asked if everyone was okay. Well, thank heavens, we are! But of course, it is sad that there are people suffering because of this tragedy. Please pray for them. I made a little candle for them.
Anyone here who watches PBB? If you do, please VOTE for RICO!
Type BB Rico and send to 2331.
Lastly, if you have seen the movie “Little Manhattan”, I was approved for its fanlisting, so please join if you’re a fan!
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
It’s a great day after all
Feb 15, 2006 Daily Blurbs, Work
I was awaken by an urgent voice that belonged to my mom. She was holding a white envelope that was for me. Its stamp was from Sweden, but the return address is from Buffalo, NY. 
I quickly tore open the envelope to kill my mom’s curiousity. It was from Google Inc.! I put Google Ads on some of my websites hoping that I’ll really get something from it, and I did! :d: I now have money to buy another hard drive. :yey:
Not ending the lucky streak… I won Best Dark at Erika’s Fresas Y Crema Awards! :clap: *does the happy dance :d:* Someone accepted my bid for me to rent her blog 
Anyway, my mom insisted that I try to submit my resume to Motorola. I will have my interview with the foreign clients on Monday. I am so scared! Not that I don’t want to have a job, it’s just that, if I get it, then what? I mean, it would be a new world for me, since it will require me to travel all the way to Chicago. If that happens, it would be my first time to be alone in a foreign land. But it will also be a great experience for me. Now my mind is growing blank 
But of course, there is a downside to all these *happy thoughts*. It got down to thinking that it was Valentine’s Day. I even took my Starbucks planner and crossed out “Happy Valentine’s Day” and renamed it “Ordinary Day”. Sounds bitter, huh? Well, no one can blame me. Although I got a couple of messages from some friends wishing me the best, I still wish they didn’t send me those SMS. Of course, I am aware that today is not just for those lovers out there, but it’s also for your family and friends. But it sounds like it’s a way to just console ourselves. Well, for me, it’s that way.
Too bad I got to ruin the entry and end it with a sour note. My friend asked me over the phone Where is the loneliest place on earth?
I said, It’s right here, on your other line…
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
GoDaddy.com
