Frustrated
Jan 16, 2006 Daily Blurbs
I am so frustrated and so pissed off ‘coz I don’t know why I can’t seem to make the layout I made work! I have been trying for hours to make everything to be in its proper places, but if I add some text, the sidebar goes kaput! So I decided to maybe do an upgrade to WP 2. Since I am not sure what I was doing, I tried to do it on another dummy blog. I’ve backed up the database and I read the instructions carefully on how to do the upgrade. But nothing happens?! Either the page goes blank, or it’s just simply pathetically wrong! I don’t know what to do, I am so pissed off I just want to completely give up and delete this freakin’ blog! Grrrrr!!! I feel so imcompetent and stupid! Can I just die now?!
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Thoughts
Day Out. Finally!
Jan 15, 2006 Daily Blurbs
I did not get enough rest last night. I caught some snooze by 4am, and I HAD to wake up by 7am because Kate and I are going to our former workplace to fix our exit clearance. When we got there, I ran into Je’Ar, so he waited for us to get some things from our lockers and then he had to go home, of course. We went to the Operations, and no one was there to sign for us. So, Kate and I decided to watch a movie!
We watched The Chronicles of Narnia : The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. 
Great movie. The cinematography is so great. The animation is flawless. I have to commend Tilda Swinton, for her portrayal as the White Witch. In case you don’t know who she is… she is Angel Gabriel from the movie Constantine. Even the newcomer, Georgie Henley, as Lucy, was astounding. So, obviously, I enjoyed the movie. After the movie, we headed to Eastwood Libis. We ate at Teriyaki Boy. We also met up with Jep, one of my teammates before. I brought him Rhumba Frappe Light, some sort of a “pick-upper” for him, coz he said that he is in a predicament right now. We stayed there for an hour, talking. Then we headed to Ice Monsters, and Jep bought Kate and I’s refreshments, Blueberry and Peaches for the toppings. Yum!
Kate and I felt like we were on parole, coz it has been a long time since we got out of the house and relaxed. We have been a prisoner of our homes that going out today was a big deal for us. We will be meeting again on Tuesday to finish our exit clearance. Hopefully, it’s also going to be a fun day.
Tags: Daily Blurbs, Movies
This and That
Jan 13, 2006 Uncategorized
[edit]Put 2 wallpapers on freebies section.[/edit]
I don’t know why, but lately, all my dreams are nightmares. Circles of running and going to familiar and unfamiliar places, meeting peculiar individuals, seeing old friends and enemies, and the occasional horror-like scenes. I was thinking that it must be the way I sleep, “sideways with a pillow covering my head”; or the fact that I am on top of our bunk bed, and with superstitious beliefs out there, that the person sleeping on top, usually gets bad dreams. But, I have to be rational. My sleeping habits could be one of the reasons. I sleep so late, and since I have been feeling down lately, that could’ve contributed to that.
My days are mostly spent idly. After working for a call center for a year, my metabolism is just crazy. I gained weight, I sleep more than I should, I get headaches more often and I just am useless. My artistic capabilities have become sluggish. It’s like, a sticky-web have covered the left side of my brain. When I read some of my entries, or the things that I have written in my journal, I seem weird and incoherent. It’s like, I am talking nonsense! Maybe, I just need someone to talk to. I am not a fan of the phone right now, so that means I don’t use the phone at all. Except when it’s ringing and I am beside it and nobody wants to pick it up. I try to think of people that I can call and talk to about the weird things that have been crossing my mind lately, but a part of me is a bit vexed that they could be tired of listening to the same shit.
I have created a world that only “I” live in. It’s lonely and it sucks! Although I get constant text messages from someone who I went out with, I just can’t feel the connection. He’s the brother of my friend, who said that he has been crushing on me for years. He’s currently working in a bank as an Account Manager, and I call him “Kuya!” He has been trying his best to have me stop calling him that, but I am used to it. My sister said that I should take a chance. Well, sure! I want my kuya to be my boyfriend! NOT! Maybe I am too picky, maybe I am too careful, or maybe, I just don’t feel that we have a future. Or I just feel that I don’t have anything to show for.
I don’t know… After the last serious relationship that I’ve had, most of the confidence I have went down the drain. Now, I am still slowly building myself up from scratch. So far, it’s gotten me nowhere! Duh. Most of my old friends, whom I haven’t seen for a long time, always get surprised when they find out that I am not in a relationship. I would always say that maybe he hasn’t found me yet, or he has, but he’s too dumb to know or is afraid to come forward. Ha-ha!
Life is what you make it, they say. But right now, I’ll say that, life is what made me. It’s a new year, and I am supposed to face new challenges, not still facing the old ones. But I am, and that’s sad… It’s like I just accumulate more and more shit every year. I feel that I am getting dumber by the minute. People used to look up to me for a good advice, some still do, but right now, I can’t even find a good advice for myself. I am doomed! Or am I?
Tags: Thoughts
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